I’m getting cold feet…

… cold everything…

- maybe i’m just getting teeeeny weeny bit too obssessed over the Twilight saga. Gah.

But in all seriousness, the weather’s getting colder. But i love it, of course. I wish it would be like this all year ’round but that’s wishful thinking. One problem would be this Sunday when i’m doing another round of night shifts again. It’s already so cold in the theatres, the weather is not making it any better.

I can’t go on writing anymore. It hurts to write, and it hurts even more not to write. Do you really want to hear this? Another internal conflict, nothing to be curious about, really.

But all in all, i had a fairly good year. 2008 may not be the best year (so far/yet), but i survived; we survived. 4 days til the end of it, i just seem to realise, and 1 week exactly to 2 years. There’s a growing elation within, which i’m subconsciously suppressing, otherwise i’d be dancing around in joy and amazement. I guess i’ll never really get over the fact that i can stay commited to something this long, and a relationship is not just anything, if you know what i mean. In fact, it is essentially the one thing that i once assumed would be the bane of my life. Ha-ha. But now, i’m already preparing for the impending inevitable.

I can’t see what the future holds for me, but disregarding any unforeseen surprises, pleasant or otherwise, i’d never thought my life would be so… straightforward. Sure, i am extremely indecisive mostly, and my life has taken alot more swerves than in any dangerous road, but eventually it straightens out itself like a railway track. One-way and boring. But safe. Yes, there’s a note of gratitude there.

Temptations are abound, dangers are seductive, but i’m so annoyingly passive that i often forgo all these opportunities for a break in my safe railway track. You could say i’m lazy. I live my life day to day like a cow – slow and uneventful and routine. Routine, ugh. But i get the odd break in monotony sometimes. Like when the cow falls in love. That’s one. And much later on, when the cow decides she’s sane enough to give her heart away to her one true love (that would be the bull, i suppose) and… marry. That’s two. And you don’t need me telling you what comes next.

As much as it’s frustrating, i am inexplicably contented with a life like this. Well, inevitable problems aside, what’s there to complain really?

To make my life more exciting, and i’m aware i really sound pathetic saying that, i made five demands for him. Or… requests, actually. And i told him this offhandedly, almost casually, that i wouldn’t blame him if he don’t remember or even paid attention to. But he did. He usually does, when it comes to things like these. ‘Cause making me happy is his ultimate mission in life. Hah. Of course that doesn’t top the list, not when he has other obligations and responsibilites, but it comes close to that. Okay fine, i just like to believe that.

I said i would like to go on the mandatory pilgrimage with him as my husband in the near future – Haj, umrah, all that. Insya’Allah.

I still want to visit Norway and marvel at the Aurora Borealis, with him by my side ’cause i think i can’t shut up when i’m excited. I need him to save me from annoyed Norwegians who might unleash the snow dogs on me.

I want to lie in a meadow or field or any wide open unobstructed space at night, with the sky full of stars. With him, of course. Romantic as it sounds, i’m rather afraid of the dark at times.

I want to experience snow. (:

I forgot the last one. I’ll go ask him, see if he remembers. I bet he will. This is annoying. I don’t even remember what i want.