One more sharp swerve to the left, but i didn’t see that one coming. Ever so naive, although i’d rather think it’s optimism, i presumed the road would be less bumpy now. I have but a rudimentary idea of what taubat is. Repent, vowing never to repeat your mistakes/sins/crimes/mischief, and taqwa. Seemingly easy, and indeed it is. But only if you don’t consider factors which may swerve you off your lighted path. Firstly, the fact that we’re humans. With that comes the propensity to lean towards temptations. Temptations are abound and we are blinded. To put it less kindly, stupid.

So i’ve stumbled again. I gave in to my nafs and now i’m squirming in anxiety, ’cause it’s such a foolish thing to do, acting stupid when i’m fully aware of the repercussions of my actions. Dear God, grant me strength and imaan to overcome myself and conquer my weaknesses such that they don’t get the better of me. Amin.